13/07/98 - Press Day. Los Angeles.

'Press Day' is a cunning way of saying 'Day off'. It's a way to fool the band into thinking that they will be doing something instead of a day off. Day off just means anything that isn't a gig to me. Another rhythm breaking day. You get into the stride of gigging and then it's murdered by two consecutive days without a gig. Nightmare! Stilly, Johnny and Jim head off to Ibanez to talk guitars. They're the lucky ones. Rob from Ibanez is a cool guy and we love his guitars anyway so if he decides to endorse us in any way we'lll be even happier.

Press days usually involve lots of running around and today is no exception. I get ferried out to various cable TV and radio stations. The interviewers and the staff are all very pleasant and it's no hassle. The schedule (like every press day I've ever done) gets continually changed around though and I have no idea who I'm talking to most of the time as the name on the list doesn't correspond with the face in front of me. I bluff my way though it all with a smile.
One show consists of almost entirely station ID's. I just have to sit there with two nice gentlemen and read out the ID's as they give them to me. A piece of cake. My job is to sit in front of a camera and read pieces of paper. I used to shovel gravel for money and drive a truck. I used to demean myself to assholes for a few quid. Now all I have to do is sit on a couch and read cards for the day.

"Hi! This is J.S.Clayden from Pitchshifter and you're watching our latest video on the V Network."
"That's great Jon. Now could you just these other twenty four."
"Hi! This is J.S.Calyden from Pitchshifter and I used to shovel gravel in the cold for a living but now all I have to do it get driven around LA and sit on big couches and read cue cards. Stay tuned!"

Later back at the record company office I read some of the press. I start with the negative pile (and it is a pile). Some these reviewers HATE our LP. I'm not talking a slight disliking here, I'm talking full blown hate.

"Like the Prodigy with all the fun taken out."
" . . . a band far too happy to cater to the pulsing masses . . . "
"Pitchshifter's lyrics aren't the kind to be remembered for their poetic value; nonetheless, they are neither cliched nor meaningless and that's all you can really expect from a techno band."
"Pitchshifter are quick to update their already shitty guitar playing with layers of computer driven racket that fail not only to improve their overall sound but to even to distract one from all the other terrible aspects at work in their music."

Geez. Any chance I could get that gravel shovelling job back? You know the number.